I just returned last Saturday from spending a couple weeks in Missouri with my family. The experience of being with them and then coming back to Charlotte has made me think a lot recently about what "home" means. Is it where you live? Where your family lives? A city you love? When I was visiting my family, it was fun to imagine how life might be if we all lived near each other. (Fabulous, of course.) Since we moved to Charlotte, I've felt more homesick for Chicago than I really expected to. In some ways, it seems a little silly that I didn't appreciate how hard it would be to leave there. At the same time, I spent all five years in Chicago knowing when I would leave. Having that continual countdown running makes it hard to fully invest oneself and plant roots somewhere. That's really been the case since I left home to go to college. I knew I'd be at Wash U for 4 years (or hoped so, anyway), Ian would finish medical school 3 years later and we'd leave Houston, finish residency 5 years later and we'd leave Chicago, finish fellowship 1 year later and we'd leave Charlotte... The clock is always running. Even so, we really planted more roots in Chicago than we realized until our last few months there.
I feel like Ian and I really grew up in Chicago. We started our time there dating and left having been married for 3 years. I got a Masters degree; Ian became a surgeon. We paid back all the debt that came along with those darn free t-shirts in college. We made friends. As we conducted our farewell tour in our last month or so in Chicago, it was hard to fit in all the dinners and last chances to say good-bye. A good problem to have. Almost all of those folks are either still in Chicago or will be returning there in about a year. I think that's what has made this move a little different for us. It's hard to believe that we actually chose to leave all that behind for a little thing like Ian's career. :)
I've also come to realize that I really loved living in Chicago. Well, maybe not so much in February, but other than that... I loved being part of such a big, bustling city and I loved my peaceful little suburb. It was hard and fun to learn how to navigate the city by car or by train (I never got around to the buses...) There was almost never a time when we couldn't think of something to do and when we couldn't it really was more a matter of laziness than reality. I miss knowing so much about the place I live and I miss knowing that I really only know a tiny piece of what there is to know. I don't know that we'll ever get to live there again, but we'll always love Chicago.
In the meantime, we're officially "settled" in Charlotte. I say this primarily because we're unpacked and we no longer ask if restaurants have sweet tea - we just order it straight away. I hope that in the next couple months we will get to know and love Charlotte. It's definitely different than anywhere I've lived before. I have to say that the people ARE really friendly. I can't actually think of a time when I've heard someone honk their horn in traffic since we moved here. I spent 4 hours at the DMV yesterday getting my North Carolina license and I noticed that all the people around me were really nice and helpful to each other... they held each other's places in line while others used the restroom, five different people chimed in to give a guy directions to another location that might have a shorter wait, and no one seemed angry that we were there for so long. They talked about it, but never in an angry way. It's a little weird, but I think I could get used to it. So maybe soon I really will be able to call Charlotte "home..." or maybe at least "home for now."
2 comments:
I guess I never really thought of all your moving around in that way. I've moved a whole lot in my life, but most of it has been within the same town; and even that sucks. Kevin and I talk all the time about, "how awesome it would be if we all move to St. Louis," but we always end the conversation with, "man, we really love Springfield." We've even thought that maybe we could convince everyone to move here; although that would mean all you professionals with licenses would have to settle for smaller careers. Family has seemed so much more important lately, though. It's not fun being so far away from the people "who have to love you." Hopefully we can all end up somewhere close together and love THAT place so much that we never want to leave.
I completely and totally know how you are feeling! I feel like you have been inside my head! I never realized how much I loved Columbia until we moved here. I too felt as though we both "grew up" there. That was the first place I lived on my own. We both had our first professional jobs and began our married life there as well. I had been there for about 8 years. I loved my job and I actually knew people. Columbia had so much to offer (Chicago is way more exciting though!). We too had been counting down until Joe could apply to PA school and then we could move, but I didn't realize how deep we had placed our roots there. I have settled in to San Antonio, and things are much better than when we first moved. Now it is almost time to leave. This year has flown by and I also have realized the importance of being close to family. I agree with Mandy. I do hope we can all find that place we love, hopefully near to each other (it would be awesome). I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us!
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